Winners of Washington Post’s Neologism Contest
The Washington Post has published the winning subscriptions to its yearly neologism contest. Readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Color me impressed! These are some VERY clever readers! See I f you agree.
The winners are:
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.),a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Love these? Me, too. Here’s some more:
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Have any of your own you’d like to share? We’d love to hear ‘em.